


Lost souls

by Hebiaczek



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Multi, Sentinel/Guide, mental trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 10:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17201465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hebiaczek/pseuds/Hebiaczek
Summary: Getting awakened into a Sentinel was a dream come true for most people. The thing about dreams, however, is that usually, they are not as bright in the light of reality. As it turns out a Sentinel needs to have a Guide, but what can one do when there are none available?





	Lost souls

**Author's Note:**

> This story was greatly inspired by Tobina and her story Guide you home (if you haven't read it yet... what are you doing with your time? xD). Reading it I found SGN universe quite intriguing and decided to try and write a story with it as well.
> 
> Of course, I wouldn't be me if I didn't make a few (or more than a few) adjustments. What are those exactly... well – you'll see if you'll follow this story xD
> 
> Also a little warning – this story might turn into a very slow burn and light yaoi (boy x boy pairing) – I still haven't decided, I will make an appropriate warning to the chapter where it might happen but if this bothers you – feel free to skip this story.

Heiji stumbled on the steps as he walked down from his room. He wasn't a morning person but with how groggy he was it had to be more than that. He walked into the kitchen, navigating towards the refrigerator more by memory than sight and took out a yoghurt. He cast a wistful glance at the stove but knew better than to try and boil some water for a coffee. Without a doubt, he'd only achieve burning himself if he tried to make any... So instead he sat down at the kitchen table and started eating.

He nearly choked on some yogurt, as his mother's worried voice startled him. "Oh my, Heiji? Isn't it too early for you to be up?" She gave him a light pat on the back. "Are you alright?"

Damn it... He was too used to having his senses heightened ever since he awakened into a Sentinel and started depending on them too much. It made it troublesome when he had to dull them down.

Having confirmed that he could breathe, he waved her off and gave a coarse, confirming hum. If it was up to him, he would have stayed in bed for at least a few more hours. Sadly this wasn't the case today. "Gotta go to the Centre for a checkup," he mumbled, as soon as he could manage but didn't bother to hide his displeasure.

She glanced away, attempting to hide her discomfort. "Oh, of course... Otaki-san told me you zoned out during the case yesterday. Would you want me to take you there?" She stepped towards the refrigerator and took out a few things from it.

Heiji glanced at her with irritation. "Tsk, why's everybody making a big deal out of it? Nobody cared when I spaced out every now and then before awakening. And no need, I'm meeting Kazuha on the way and we'll go together." Despite his foul mood, his gaze drifted to what she was doing. He wouldn't mind eating some more if she was willing to offer.

Without asking, she passed him a plate with three sandwiches and smiled fondly seeing him dig into them. "Are you sure..? I know she's your friend but-"

He clicked his tongue and interrupted her before she could finish the thought. "Mom! I've told you already. She's more than enough. She's..." he trailed off and shook his head. "She helped me snap out of it yesterday. So it's fine." He could tell by the thin line of her lips that she didn't agree but wouldn't say anything. Abashed by his outburst, he added a mumbled: "Sorry," and looked away.

He heard her sigh and start moving around the kitchen again. He decided to change the topic. "Are you going to make some coffee for yourself? I could use some..."

She paused and looked at him. "I could make you some tea if you want. Your doctor warned about mixing your sleeping pills with coffee."

He pursed his lips in a sour expression. He needed the coffee exactly because he was still under HalfSenses effect and hoped it would help him function properly. Tea wouldn't cut it, especially the one his mom made. Sadly, there was no point in arguing. "Fine... Thanks, I guess..."

* * *

Having eaten his breakfast made Heiji feel a little better. His mind was still a little foggy and he was unable to focus but at least his senses were in working order, even if they were slightly over-sensitive now.

With sunglasses on his nose, to shield his irritated eyes from the sun, he stepped out of the house and regretted it immediately. It was a clean neighborhood and the pollution in Osaka was low to begin with, but his over-sensitive nose begged to differ, especially when a car passed by, roaring like a fierce monster. Even a drop of sweat, rolling down his back under his soft clothes, irritated him to no end.

He had little doubt that it wouldn't be a nice day when he woke up to his alarm clock. But now it was getting obvious that until the HalfSenses effects passed completely, it was going to be torture.

To remedy it, he tried to _reach with his scent and hearing forward,_ hoping to find Kazuha and dull out all the unnecessary sounds and smells. He was risking zoning out with the state he was in, but he figured it would be better than losing his mind altogether.

And then he noticed it, with a soft smile appearing on his lips without his knowledge. The soft whisper of clothes, rubbing against her skin combined with the quiet rasps of her breath. It combined beautifully with the subtle scent of her favorite perfume, mixed with her sweat. He recalled her adorable blush when he first told her that he could distinguish her smell so well and started washing more frequently afterward.

He teased her a lot about how he could still smell it anyway.

By the quiet whisper of her hair brushing against her clothes, he knew that she turned her head suddenly. Funny... he wasn't still in sight, so she shouldn't turn towards him. Did something startle her? He broadened his hearing to hear her surroundings better.

He felt cold sweat run down his spine as he heard a gruff-sounding voice very near her "...that chick, aren't you?"

"Maybe. Why do you care? Leave me alone, I'm waiting for somebody," she bit back fiercely with just a thin layer of fright in her tone.

Without realizing, Heiji was running now. Why wasn't he there yet? He had to protect her!

Another male voice chuckled. "Why don't you try and make us you freak? Or can you handle only one at a time?"

"I'm warning you!" she growled fiercely, shuffling her feet on the ground to defend herself.

He turned around the corner and finally saw them. Three punks, bigger than him standing around her in threatening stances. "Get away from MY Kazuha!" he roared and charged them, without any regard for his safety.

He saw them turn towards him and heard her scream his name. His mind recognized it as fright and plead for help, making him lose all sense and reason. The whole world turned red before everything died out and went black.

* * *

Next thing he was aware of was the pain. It was all over his body with his head hurting the most probably. He groaned and tried to raise his hand to touch his face but couldn't as it seemed to be tried down to the bed he was on. He flinched hearing a threatening voice.

"Don't move, or I'll have to subdue you."

Confused, he opened his eyes. He knew the voice but couldn't place it. "What..?" Then something hit him. "Kazuha..? Where's-?! AAH!"

He howled in pain and struggled against his restraints, trying to cover his head. It felt as if his brain got caught inside a vice and was being squashed. He felt his very being curl behind his skull, struggling to fight back against the overwhelming force and prevent it from smashing him.

He wasn't sure how long it lasted before the pressure finally left his mind alone. Feeling exhausted, he collapsed on the bed, panting hard.

"Now that I've muted you down, I'd appreciate it if you kept it that way." A man's voice, now filled with self-satisfaction, somehow managed to reach Heiji's ears despite the overwhelmingly loud beating of his own heart and felt the guy pat his leg roughly, like a dog. "We wouldn't want you going into another rage today, now would we?"

Heiji cracked his eye open and confirmed his suspicion about who the owner of the voice was. "Yamada... you bastard..." he wheezed out.

The man's expression tightened with annoyance. "That's 'Yamada-sama' for you, brat. You might be the son of Osaka Police Superintendent but here, you're nothing more than a troublemaking Sentinel and thus fall under my jurisdiction. Is that clear?"

Heiji snorted with anger. He hated that bastard who took out his frustration of getting awakened into a Guide instead of a Sentinel, on those who he saw as more fortunate. It might have been a biased opinion on Heiji's part but he had a feeling that the guy hated him the most because he got blessed but not only awakening as a Sentinel of the highest rank but also un top of it being born into an influential family.

Heiji felt him wrap his fingers around his knee and the vice engulf his mind again but bit the inside of his cheek to endure it the best he could.

Yamada snorted with annoyance and the pressure vanished. "Know your place and behave." He turned and left the room, knowing that he had no reason to stay there any longer.

Heiji sighed with relief as soon as the door closed behind him. At the very least he knew where he was, and despite the look of it, it wasn't a place of torture. It was the MindCentre or just 'Centre' for short. It was a medical facility, specialized in the unique needs of Sentinels and Guides. One of the reasons for its existence was to help people like Heiji deal with and get over occasional fugues and rages. Sadly, in order to do so, they had to hire high ranking Guides and those weren't exactly common, which was why they were sometimes forced to hire and keep people like Yamada.

An alternative was to stuff the Sentinels with drugs. Apparently, for some reason, it was better to get your mind crushed than to take a few too many medications and end up addicted.

He heard a knock on the door and then a woman stepped in. Heiji greeted her with a tired smile. He knew the drill and was expecting her. Her name was Katagiri Yurie, as this wasn't the first time they met. After a Sentinel was calmed down and, if necessary, had his senses muted down by a resident Guide, a psychiatrist was let in. It felt a little humiliating to Heiji, who didn't feel a need to see one but he understood the need to determine a reason for Sentinel's outburst and evaluation for their sanity.

At least she was nice enough to tell him that Kazuha was fine and it was actually her who knocked him out before he could seriously injure her assaulters.

Having finished her evaluation, Yurie closed her notebook and sighed. "I understand that you wanted to protect Kazuha-chan, Heiji-kun, and under any other circumstances, I would have liked to praise you but… You can't do it like this. On top of this, it's your third episode this year already and it's only March..." Apparently, the psychiatrists were not allowed to say 'fugue' or 'rage' since neither of them dared to speak it in his presence.

Heiji winced and looked away. She released him from his bindings, so he was now massaging his wrists. "It was my first this month..."

She gave him an unimpressed glare. "It's only the 16th and you had one on the 28th February. And it's not like last year was any better. And we didn't even count any of your zones."

"If I wasn't under HalfSenses influence I probably wouldn't have raged now at all. Come on doc, just leave me off it and test me. I'll handle it."

"Probably, but in turn you wouldn't be able to sleep. Insomnia isn't good for your focus either, you know," she lectured him and clicked her tongue, assuming a more open stance. "Look, I know you're not a bad guy and each of your episodes was because you were either protecting your friend or tried too hard assisting the police. I really don't think there is any need to lock you up but you know the law..."

"So you are going to do it anyway... Why not just give me Senses5 to null me out?" It wasn't something he wanted but figured it would be better than lose his freedom.

"It cannot be used as a long-term solution. Listen, Heiji-kun, I probably shouldn't be telling you this but we're looking for a loophole that would allow you to leave freely."

"Let me guess... you'll try to pair me up with another Guide..?" he grumbled under his breath, last time they talked him into trying something like this didn't end well and he was not up for another attempt.

She shook her head. "We don't have anyone new to try currently anyway. We're thinking of something else but we have to check the legality. Give me one or two days and I'll explain, alright?"

"It's not like I have much choice, do I..?" he grumbled and allowed his back to sink into the pillows behind him. She gave him a weak, sour smile and got up from her seat. "Hey doc?" he spoke up before she could leave and smiled back at her. "Thanks. I really appreciate what you're doing for me."

Yurie smiled again and shook her head. "Thank me when we get you out of here." And with that, she left.

* * *

Having heard that he might have to wait for one to two days made Heiji assume it would most likely take longer. It wasn't like he didn't believe Yurie-sensei, she already had proven her good-will helping him the previous year by writing down his five fugues and rages due to his recent awakening and experiencing being held at gun-point. Unfortunately, if she continued playing that card for too long he would be forced to take psychedelic drugs instead.

His parents visited him on the very first evening. They weren't happy with him but didn't say anything openly, probably being prohibited from doing so by Yurie-sensei. Another thing he should be probably grateful towards her.

But he was more worried about Kazuha not showing up either on the first or the second day.

He wasn't sure what to make of it. It was possible that she was feeling guilty of having him falling into a rage for her yet again. If that was the case he wanted to smack her head hard and talk her out of guilt. He wanted to protect her and would do so, even if the law said he shouldn't. However, it was also possible that she was angry with him, or scared of being around him. It's not like he would ever do anything to hurt her, even in rage but he was partially to blame that she was targeted in the first place.

Neutrals, people who never awakened, tended to envy Sentinels their gifts but resented Guides, who were seen as a threat with their ability to touch the minds of others. It didn't matter that they were helpless in that regard against Neutrals. The possibility still existed and that was enough for some.

And due to how close Heiji and Kazuha were, it would be only natural to assume that she was a Guide. In the end, Sentinels and Guides more often than not awoken in pairs and would then support each other with their abilities.

Heiji clenched his fist over the sheets covering him as he recalled her sobbing on the day he awoken. It happened during his kendo practice, when suddenly everything about his opponent became so vibrant. He could see separate threads in his clothes, smell the sweat oozing from under the layers, hear the bokken creaking in his hands as he tightened his grip over it. Needless to say, Heiji went into a fugue due to three of his senses over-focusing and it seemed that there wasn't any Guide who could help him. He could feel his own heart forget to continue beating and his lungs burn from lack of breaths. His teacher had to knock him out or he would have died on the spot.

When he came to Kazuha was still sobbing and holding his hand. She apologized to him, as if she had anything to apologize for and promised that she would awaken for him, so she could protect him.

It was nearly a year ago and she still remained a Neutral.

He sighed loudly, trying to chase away the grim memory and heard a knock on the door. Glad for distraction, whoever it would be, he replied swiftly. "Come in!"

"Yo, how are you?" Kudo Shinichi was probably the last person Heiji expected to waltz into his room.

"Kudo? What are you doing here, man?" He looked at the person following him and well, he probably should have expected her. "Ran-chan, you too?"

Shinichi snorted, poorly acting disappointment. "With how you stubbornly keep on calling me your best friend, I'd expect you'd be happier than this."

"I am happy. Just didn't expect you to show you actually care~"

"Seriously-"

Ran chuckled at their teasing and cut in. "You should have seen how worried he was." She ignored an angry 'oi' from him and continued with a soft smile. "He really wanted to help you, we both did, so we came as soon as we could."

Heiji's smile faltered slightly. He appreciated their words but it only showed how dire his situation was. The most likely scenario was that he would remain locked up until an adequate Guide who would be able to bound with him would be found.

"Yeah well... Maybe Kudo could tell me about his latest cases? I tell you man I'm so pissed that I might fall behind you if they'll keep me for too long," he whined, trying to sound funny and failed miserably.

Surprisingly enough, Shinichi smiled at him. "Well, you might not have to worry about it, if you're willing to listen."

Wide-eyed, Heiji looked at them, "Huh?" And watched Ran sit on the edge of his bed.

"Listen, there's an experimental idea about Guides working with two Sentinels. We would have to make frequent reports and you would have to move to Tokyo and live with us but if you're willing to we could get you out of here today."

Shocked, Heiji twitched away from her. "I'm, I mean... Do you want to-" he stuttered, struggling to find the right words but was saved by Shinichi.

"She's not going to bind with you," he growled angrily but it's not like Heiji could blame him. Saying that Sentinels tended to be protective over the Guides they were bound to was an understatement. This made this situation all that more shocking. "She's just going to supervise you during the day and keep you in check."

"Shinichi..." she chided him softly and turned back to Heiji with an apologetic smile. "It's weird, I know. I promise I won't invade the privacy of your mind and be careful when I help you get back in control in case you slip. I won't be able to help you through the night so you'll still have to be taking HalfSenses, and you'll be pretty much stuck with us during the day but that's pretty much what you two do anyway when you meet, so it shouldn't be so bad. We're willing to give it a try if you want to." She reached towards him, offering her hand.

Heiji glanced at Shinichi and received a wry smile and an encouraging nod. He turned back to her and squeezed her hand. "I don't even know what to say..."

Shinichi rolled his eyes and smiled. "Just accept, barou. And promise to take us to that okonomiyaki place, you've been telling me lately about. Your treat."

That made Heiji laugh. "I'll treat you to whatever you want~!" He sighed to stop the laugh and give them a grateful look. "Thanks guys, you have no idea how much I appreciate it."

Shinichi snorted fondly. "Yeah? We'll see how it goes in a few weeks. I'll go tell your doctors you agreed and get the paper work. You fill him in with the rest Ran."

She hummed in agreement and waited for him to leave the room, before turning back towards Heiji. To his surprise, he saw her bite her lip and make a guilty expression. "We haven't told you, but part of the agreement to let you out is that you won't see Kazuha for a while... That's partially why we're taking you back to Tokyo with us, instead of going on a compromise."

He swallowed thickly, somehow having been expecting something like this. "For how long..?"

"Half a year without a registered episode," she replied swiftly and shook her head. "That's the least your doctors agreed on. They said it would be a motivation for you if nothing else... I'm really sorry Heiji-kun. We should be able to sneak a call every now and then if you want to."

He smiled bitterly with his eyes dropped on the sheets. "When we'll be leaving after I sign the papers?"

She bit her lip again. "Pretty much immediately. They want us to board a train as soon as possible to minimize stimulates as much as possible. It's an experiment after all to see how you'll behave when taken away from familiar environment. I'm sorry."

"It's ok. At least you're taking me out of here, right? But, I guess I won't be able to take you to that okonomiyaki place anytime soon..."

"You'll take us when we come back here for a visit. Time will fly fast, don't worry. But there's one more thing..."

He raised his gaze at her and she gave him an apologetic look.

"Before they let you out, they want to make sure I can contain you if, you know... get an episode."

"That'll be lots of fun..." he grumbled, not meaning to sound so bitter but unable to bring any joy into his tone.

"I know but try not to worry. Shinichi says it doesn't hurt when I do it. Just try to relax and not struggle and I'll be done before you notice."

He tried to be polite and only grimaced. It wasn't surprising that she was able to avoid causing pain to the Sentinel she was bound to. As far Heiji knew it was how it worked. On the other hand, he couldn't help a sort of a morbid curiosity of how it would feel when he tried to mute his senses. It seemed that every Guide had their very own feel to them, so maybe this time he wouldn't have to endure being beaten up or crushed.

* * *

He couldn't help the stress building up in his guts as he moved to the EEG room and lay down next to the machine. Anxious looks Shinichi was giving him didn't do much to ease his worry either. He took a deep breath when the last suction cups were placed on his body to monitor his vitals and brain activity. After this he would be free and would make Kudo take him to the best curry place in Tokyo. No big deal.

As ordered, he focused his gaze on the too small to read lines to prove he extended his senses and tried not to twitch when he felt Ran touch his hand.

It was way different than what he was used to.

Nearly as soon as she made contact, he felt his mind being flooded. Out of reflex, he held his breath to avoid getting drowned and he heard somebody speaking to him with his own, inner voice.

_'_ _Breathe Heiji-kun. I'm not going to hurt you.'_

He tried to follow the request and take a deep breath but as soon as he did, he started coughing, as if he had inhaled water. _He was scared, he could deal with pain but this wasn't it._

_'_ _I'll speed up, alright? I'll make it end as soon as possible. Just bear with me a little more...'_

_And with that the water swallowed him whole. He struggled in his mind the only way he knew – by thickening his walls but he wasn't sure if that could keep the water away. The liquid became heavier making it harder to struggle, wearing him out. When he thought that that was it and he would die, the water vanished, as if it was never there._

Heiji sat up, flailing his hands around when they were suddenly caught. He opened his eyes wide and stared at Shinichi who was holding him by the wrists.

"It's ok, it's over. You're fine. There's no water, see?" He pointed with his head to the side and Heiji looked there obediently.

Ran was standing there and talking with a doctor and resident Guide. From the sound of it, they were impressed and were willing to leave Heiji in her care. He swallowed thickly and curled a little inside. Shinichi pat him gently on the back.

"Don't worry. She won't do that to you anymore unless it's to save your life." He gave him an encouraging smile. "And it's not that bad once you stop forgetting that your mind can't drown. It's gonna be ok."

Heiji nodded and took another deep breath to regain his calm. At least he was free now. He will have to leave Osaka for now but at least with Kudo he could count to be distracted with cases. And if everything went according to plan, he would be able to return in just a few months.

He just had to bear with it for now.


End file.
